Saint John Chrysostom
(Speech on 1 Corinthians 26,11, ΕΠΕ 18 Α,176 - ΜG 61,223-224 η’)

   If your wife makes a mistake, console her and do not add to her grief. For even if you remove all her faults that cause trouble in the house, you will gain nothing by your abrupt behaviour, for the saddest thing of all will remain that you do not have good relations with the woman who lives with you. Whatever fault of hers you claim as justification, none should be considered more painful than to be at war with her. So let your love for her be more precious than anything else. For if you must bear one another’s burdens, how much more must you bear your wife’s burdens. And even if she is poor, do not blame her; and if she is foolish, do not despise and criticise her, but rather guide her, for she is a member of your body and you have become one flesh.
   But what if she is talkative and drunk and angry? Well, you must not be angry with her, but take care of her and pray to God and exhort her and counsel her and do everything to break her passion. But if you beat her, you make her situation worse. For insolence is not cured by insolence, but by forbearance and yielding. Besides the above, think of the reward God has in store for your patience. For though you have the power to send her away, and do not do so because you fear God, but put up with so many faults because you fear the law, which prevents you from expelling the woman whatever her fault may be, you shall receive a very great reward.
   But even before the reward that God will give you, you will have a very great benefit, because you will also make her more disciplined, and because of her you will become more lenient. It is even said that one of the pagan philosophers, who had a wife who was vicious and talkative and drunk, when asked why he tolerated the behaviour of such a woman, he replied: I tolerate her so that I may have a gymnasium and a fighting ring in my house, so that they may train me in the patient life. For in this way, he said, I shall also be gentler to others, for I shall practise meekness daily in the house.